Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
