In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
