We won't sleep together?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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