And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
