True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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