Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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