Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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