I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
