You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
