I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He better not be in your backpack
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
