***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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