Don't make out with my wife yet
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
