Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Bring me that man meat
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
