"it" just moved
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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