After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
