I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
