She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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