why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
