It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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