Whoa Z and x make the same sound
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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