Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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