I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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