went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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