I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
