shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
