If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
