He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
