That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize