Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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