Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
