I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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