We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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