he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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