are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize