Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have already put on my inside pants.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
