"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
