I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
