I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
