You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
