The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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