It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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