Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
