hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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