R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
