cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
high people should be assigned attendants
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
