Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

How did people poop without Blackberrys?

(416): View more from Ontario

Motorola Razers?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Stone age, man.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?

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(979): View more from Texas

How sober do you have to be to donate blood?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.

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(630): View more from Illinois

On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be

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(480): View more from Arizona

Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.

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