Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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