haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
