Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
