I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
