i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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