69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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