the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
look no pants
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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