how can u be prego again
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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