i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
