My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize