At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
