Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She bit a glass in half.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
