You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
