Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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