...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
