I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
