If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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