the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
