you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
