you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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