Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
