I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize