I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
