She's JV to your varsity
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Randomize