Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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