I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
