Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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