he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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