I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize