At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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