U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
bring money and cleavage
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think I just sharted jello shots
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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